Please note: It may seem obvious to you for how to use this grief model, there may be areas which you may stumble upon or not understand, therefore I have staged this and explained this in detail below, this guide is ideally for individuals or non-mental wealth professionals who may work in groups using this resource as a basis of a grief model.
This journal is the first if it's kind, it can be completed when the time is right, never feel pressurised to complete any section until you are ready, this journal offers space to respond, reflect and educate you to process your loss, there is no time line or pressure to complete this, dip back in and out of the stages and allow for understanding and processing loss, learn to be patient with yourself and the circumstance.
'Ownership' of this grief journal is an important element to the progress of your enquiry, it works as a diarised personal memoir to evidence your journey from the start, then towards the recovery stage and understanding of the unique experience. For those choosing to use this independently I have outlined a way to respond to certain pages, you may think differently and that is OK too.
The ‘Contents page’ explains the stages from darkness to light, the pages reflect this from the start to the end, it’s important to read this section.
Stage 1 pages 2- 5: ‘Introduction to grief’, these pages offer up a focus on what grief and how this makes you feel, feel free to write and draw or doodle your responses to the words.
Page 6 & 7 and future pages: ‘Pause for thought’ pages offers up space for your thoughts, feelings and emotions, such as what have the previous words brought up for you? You can draw, write or doodle your response to a written account for yourself, don’t worry if you can’t straight away, the language and identification will aid this in time, page 36 & 37 may help you understand.
Page 8: 'Five stages of grief' are a basis to start with, there are many other stages yet this is a starting point.
Page 16: ‘Processing Loss’, the space offers for you to fill in words that come to you if you wish to. yet it is a basis of understanding the natural and normal fluid stages of grief with no specific time line.
Stage 2 pages 19: ‘Feelings & Emotions’ I felt it important to focus on this area first, as feelings and emotions can prove difficult. Complete the sections using words, page 30 & 31 recognise the stage of feeling overwhelmed, feel free to write or draw or doodle your responses on these pages.
Page 32 & 33: This is a 'Trauma' model from Dr Janina Fisher, circle the words that evoke a response from you, make a note of the date also as this will enable you to see the changes that will occur over time, reflection is and essential guide to recovery and healing working with 'difference'.
Page 34: The words can get jumbled up in your mind; the ‘pause for thought’ page is to extract the words that you connect with either in a written, doodle or drawn format.
Page 36 & 37: The is the 'Emotion Wheel', a unique segmented formula to use working from the centre and the primary words to more extended vocabulary to use to connect with your feelings and emotions in the different coloured segments of feelings and emotions. It notes six stages yet there are more words or language leading on from the initial five stages mentioned earlier, use the space around the wheel to record your responses, maybe you can create your own?
Page 38 & 39: 'If feelings could talk…', write or draw you response to this idea of outcomes on page 39.
Page 40, 41 & 42: Manifestations of ‘Normal’ grief. Circle the words, date them and recognise this is helpful to understand what you are feeling is ok; it’s ok to not be ok also.
Page 44 & 45: Use this space if you feel your response is helpful to record, either in written, doodle or drawn context.
Page 46 & 47: This is a 'Grief Model' that links between loss and restoration, how this can be a fluid process and can change minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day.
Page 48 & 49: This space is for own personal reflection, drawn or written responses, or space just to doodle.
Page 50 – 51: Use this space only when it feels right to write a letter to grief, the person, place, and identity, pet or significant multiple losses you’ve experienced, this can be done when the time is right, never feel pressurised to complete any section until you are ready.
Stage 3 page 53: ‘Advancement’, during this stage you will learn about the natural and normal changes that have occurred to you before and after your loss, remember you will not be the same person as you were before, sadly this is true, this process is about building your emotional resilience to future losses.
Page 54 & 55: ‘Deconstruction and Reconstruction’, before and after the loss, space to understand what this means for you reflect on page 56 & 57 with written, drawn or doodle responses; extended on page 58 & 59.
Page 60 & 61: 'Other feelings and emotions' explored in more depth which can feel isolating.
Page 62 & 63: 'Time to connect' and record who is there for you now…? My family and friends etc.
Page 64 & 65: 'Further stages' leading on from the initial five stages, time to explore these for yourself in written, drawn or doodle format.
Page 66 & 67: The ‘Poem’, I wrote this with you in mind.
Page 68 & 69: 'Understanding the waves of grief' and allowing for this to happen when it arrives and it can come without warning or when you least expect it.
Page 70 & 71: 'Reconnecting with yourself', friends, interests, music, and things to lift your mind which can be beneficial distractions which help you know you are feeling more engaged with life around you.
Page 72, 73 & 74: Your life is important to you and those around you, time for reflection, drawn written of doodle formats.
Page 75: 'Life after the loss', leading to pages 76 – 79, existential quandary, questions that don’t have answers. Time to respond with your own and reflect on the one's provided.
Page 80 – 85: 'Photos' and images to treasure and capture the essence of the person, place identity, relative or pet even, apply your thoughts to this section, there is not right or wrong.
Pages 86 – 88: 'Useful Contacts'; There is also Papyrus Prevention of Young suicide, Saneline 0300 304 7000. Hopeline 0800 0868 4141. National Counselling Society – network of counsellors and resources for young people, Childline 0800 1111, Staying Alive app, My Possible Self app for self-regulation and monitoring of mental wealth daily, Mind gym App, Headspace App, Calm App, Cruse bereavement for all ages, resources, intervention and counselling. 0808 808 1677.
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